


Melodrama's Revenge

by popheadscirclejerk



Series: Melodrama's Revenge [1]
Category: Lorde (Musician), Rihanna (Musician), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popheadscirclejerk/pseuds/popheadscirclejerk
Series: Melodrama's Revenge [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070357
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	1. Look What You Made Me Do

It was winter, and a night of bitter cold. The snow lay thick upon the ground, and upon the branches of the trees. The cold was ruthless, but not as ruthless as Taylor Swift.

Taylor was a millionaire, an extremely calculated businesswoman and singer who wrote songs that empowered people. (https://entertainment.theonion.com/taylor-swift-inspires-teen-to-come-out-as-straight-woma-1835591597)

On the night our story begins, Taylor was sitting in her cabin in the woods, drinking wine. She used to live in a mansion, but had to live in a cabin in the woods for the time being as she was in her cottagecore lesbian era.

She was rejoicing over how she had received six Grammy nominations, as Ms Swift loved being validated by old, white men. She was on her secret stan account, scrolling through twitter dot com when she saw an article with the headline:

2021 Grammy Winners Predictions: Will the experimental sound of Djesse Vol. 3 or the escapist pop of Future Nostalgia stop Taylor Swift from getting her third Album of the Year win?

Taylor was enraged. She did not take such a career risk for some pop music twink to say that her album wouldn't win AOTY. She threw her glass of wine on the wall and started thinking of ways to capture the Grammy voters' attention. She couldn't do performances like that albanian ethnonationalist Dual Peeper since this was supposed to be her 'less is more' era.

Suddenly, she got an idea. She remembered how a few years ago, Ariyuhna had got lots of clout for releasing a 'sister album' to her indie masterpiece, and had even won a Grammy for it despite being black.

So, Ms Swift went into her basement. It was poorly lit and she couldn't see a lot clearly, so she switched on the lights and looked at her pets.

Taylor kept two pets in her basement - not because her cats were scared of them, just because she'd stolen those pets from their owners. The first one was Jack. She'd known Jack since 2014 and liked him since he sucked her dick like no other. However, due to his dick-sucking abilities, Jack was in hot demand, and was often stolen by Lana, Lorde, Carly Rae Flopsen, and St Vincent.

When the pandemic started, Jack was supposed to go to Antarctica to help Lorde with her album, but since Taylor hated Lorde, she kidnapped Jack and kept him in his basement. Jack was a submissive bottom, so he did not complain and was even turned on. Even though he missed Lorde's long, goth, emo dick, he was content with Taylor's strap-on dildo (a fake dick, fake, just like Taylor)

When Taylor approached him, he was confused. How would he suck her dick if she was wearing her clothes?

"Uh, Taylor? Should I take off your clothes?"

Taylor was horny, but not for Jack. She wanted that AOTY, to put her tongue (and dick) in her golden gramophone, to fill that Grammy trophy with her white, white cum and to become the first woman in history.

So, she simply said, "Jack, produce me like one of your alt girls"

Jack understood the wishes of his capitalist master and kicked the other pet awake. The other prisoner was an otter (bear?) named Aaron Dessner. He used to be a part of a band but was captured by Ms Swift at the beginning of the pandemic since she liked otter bottoms wanted to make an indie record.

Jack and Aaron started working on the record while Taylor thought of ways to milk more money from gays who had a serious #notliketheothergirls complex, and stanned her instead of Lady Gaga because they listened to 'real music'. Suddenly, she realized that it was Christmas, and her lead single would be a massive flop, since the shepherd was climbing the charts once again.

She could not even go the Justin Bieber way as Grammy season was approaching, and such tactics might paint her in a negative light. A man can be given a free pass and a Grammy nom for manipulating the charts, she thought, yet a woman will be burnt at the stake for the same. She took a deep sigh and then stared at the logs burning in the fireplace.

Suddenly, something in her brain clicked - she decided to release remixes of her songs! She released 13 remixes of her lead single, 'willow' so that all her swifties would buy her a #1! She went down to the basement and saw that her pets had finished the record. Then, she decided to show a gesture of unity and added another AOTY nominee to her song, no body, no HAIM.

She then called up her friend, main indie girl Bon Iver, since it was impossible to have an indie record without a duet with him. Aaron's band came looking for him so she had to give them a feature to keep them from taking Aaron. Taylor then surprise released the album, and titled it 'evermore'. As expected, Swifties went mad and started streaming and buying her stuff.

For the whole week, Taylor kept releasing her remixes to manipulate the charts. She was exhausted by the weekend, and was finally glad when she hit #1. She was about to relax with a bottle of wine when she saw a PopCrave post on Twitter:

Ariana Grande announces engagement to Dalton Gomez

Taylor was furious. She didn't make her pets work this hard for Ariyuhna to steal her thunder. She knew that this was somehow Scooter's doing, that bitch was always working to overshadow Taylor.

As the disappointment started settling in, Taylor started thinking about Scooter, her estranged husband. She remembered fondly how she fucked him every night and how he gagged on her dick. But then, one night she caught him trying to sell her masters on Craigslist to secure Grammy nominations for Justin, so she dumped him and then wrote a song about him.

But she still felt hurt by how he'd been fucking Bieber behind her back, so she wrote a Tumblr post about him and sent her demons behind him. Even though she was manipulating the situation to paint herself as the victim, r/popheads did not see through this and praised her. The sane few who tried to show everyone how Taylor was actually asking her fans to harass Scooter, were downvoted to oblivion. But then, they hated Jesus because he told them the truth.

Anyway, Taylor decided that she had to do something to get back into the spotlight. She went to the kitchen and brewed a pumpkin spice latte. She went out to sit at the end of the long pond next to her cabin and immediately got jumped by a dark figure. Before she knew it, she was lying on the forest floor, and a woman was holding a knife to her throat. She tried to scream, but her kidnapper scraped her cheek with the knife.

"Bitch, scream again, and I'm going to run this through you"

The voice sounded familiar, even though Taylor hadn't heard from her in a long time.

"Rihanna? What did I do to you? I didn't even send the Swifties after you even though you were featured on Famous!"

Rihanna didn't bother responding. She was about to stab Taylor when another voice came out of the forest.

"Rihanna, hon, I know you've got a fetish for killing white blondes, and I'd gladly kill this one, but I need her capitalist ass for some time"

Now, Taylor was usually a calm and composed person, but she shat her pants when she heard that voice.

"L..Lorde?"

Our dark-haired protagonist came out of the woods, smiling with her white teeth.

"Oh, Taylor. Look what you made me do"

...to be continued


	2. Baby, let the coup begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorde and Rihanna have captured Taylor, but things are going awry down at the country club...

Lana Del Rey and her rapper friends were at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, preparing for the rally. As they waited for the Reypublicans to come in, Lana stood in a corner and took pride in how she had included a rapper in her team, which obviously meant that she had been very inclusive without even trying. She was lost in her delusions of grandeur and 1950s Americana when her rapper friend, Ariyuhna Grenadine approached her. 

"Uh, Lana? Can I help you out?" asked the rapper, who was switchin' them races for you, cookin' in the kitchen, blackfishin' in the bedroom.

"Yeah, just fine anyone who wears a mask. The Democrats are just a bunch of dirty commies who think that we won't suspect they've conspired with the Chinese to force us delicate women to wear masks. Mesh masks are ok"

As Ariyuhna went about the task assigned to her, Lana went up to the podium, and cleared her throat. 

"Now that


End file.
